Thursday, October 19, 2006
Releasing
Right...I know it's kinda late now...But i can't go to sleep...I hav my O lvls science prac tml...It's so OMG la...I can't wait for the whole thing to be over...it seems like onli yesterday tat i'm still relaxing,fooling around...Feeling tat the O lvls is still far far away...But now...It's ugly face is staring straight into mine...Well...Nothing much today...Oh wait...I rmb!It's Jeremy's birthday!Happy birthday bro.Hahas.Really glad to know u...^^.Today...Went to the library to mug,as usual...I practically spent the whole day there la...It's kind of like a norm for me nowdays...I've been going there so often tat it seems like my second home already...And i also recieved a call...It kinda brought my mood down...and caused me to start thinking...
I'm staring into space now...I've got alot on my mind...I feel like drinking...Jus to put aside everything...But i'm not doing it...I got to be sober for tml prac...I kinda regretted doing something tat i shouldn't hav do...Because of one moment's foolishness,i caused the whole thing to become so strained...Damn...I jus hope tat things will turn out better...I really do...
I'm kinda thinking alot...Wad exactly is maturity?How do we actually obtain it?They say it comes with age...Rubbish...I've seen ppl in their mid twenties still being childish...I feel tat maturity comes throu the things tat one go throu...Experiences....Tats wad makes us change our thinking bout life,love,everything...Our way of thinking really comes from the things we see and hear...and depending on how we look at it,we make our decision...So it actually takes time...So i guess i still got a long way to go...But hey,Gimme time...Ppl do change...
There's alot on my mind...For some reasons i'm starting to really think alot...About my life,the world,and our beliefs...Are we suppose to cling on to something so desperately jus becasue u r trying to fit in?Even u know tats it wrong?I dunno..But i'm really thankful tat there's a superior being tat don jus judge us by our actions...By actually look beyond...And look into y we did wad we did...Tat is the beauty of grace...I don think many ppl actually hav tat quality in them...I don think ppl are all tat noble anymore...
I know all these sounds quite emo...But it really feels quite good to release all of these once in a while...It's really hard for me to really find someone tat i can share my thoughts with...I guess no one really understands me...Not even my love ones...I guess i'm jus a eccentric one...it's not all tat easy for me to trust ppl...It's quite hard for me...So sometimes i rather shut up and not share...Cause i see no point in it...yea...But it doesn't means i'm proud ok....It's jus tat i think in a different way...Hahas...I'm not depressed ok...I'm jus letting out everything...hahas...Or i'll break down k?LOL...Kk...i gtg go le...It's really late...Phew...Feels so good to let so many things out...Hahas...
Ivan spun on 2:16 AM.
