Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Argh!!!

Why...tat is the qn i wanna ask God...
Y is all the shit happening to me?
How come all my frens can't seem to understand me?
Is it tat i'm too eccentric?Even so,Is it my fault?
Y can't u all jus try to understand?I've been trying my best to fit in..
But u all demand more and more...I'm exhausted...
I don wanna hide everything behind a mask anymore...
If u're truly my frens,then accpet me for who i am...
Don expect me to be perfect,U ain't tat perfect urself...
And wad is it with u?
I've tried my best...But ntn i did seemed to be enough...
Wake up la...U think it's easy?It was nvr easy...
U know how hard it is to please u?God damn it...Go fcuk urself...
Can u pls think for others?U are not the onli pitiful one on earth...So stop living in self pity and don expect ppl to give in to u jus because they pity u...Think about it...
And stop judging others...U ain't tat perfect...U digust me...

SO WAKE UP FROM UR FANTASY BEFORE I BLOW MY TOP

Monday, November 27, 2006
BBQ

Wow...It's been some time since i've blogged...Hahas...I gotta blog!
Well,I went to a BBQ yesterday...So many girls!!!OmG...I can't take all the loud chattering and screaming...And they scream for no reason at all!!!OMG...Really high pitch screams...Makes my hair stand...
Well,Me and spencer started up the fire...But not really good...So lax came and help...Then we can BBQ!The satay were really nice.Geok heok's Mom cooked for us...Woah...Delicious..hahas.Then went for pool.all the guys went.There were around 6 guys and over 18 girls there...WTH!?!?!
Yea...Basically i've enjoyed myself...Hahas...Gotta work later.
I don understand y edwin'sworking hrs is longer than mine...Not fair la...I earn less lea...Si dave...Gonna ask him y later...Humph

Saturday, November 25, 2006
Don click on this

Hmmm...Was tat for me?Should i continue to linger in the past?Nah...I'm jus hoping for too much...I've already decided to get over u...So y am i still thinking of u?Damn it...Those memories are tormenting me...I've tried to force myself to forget u by burying myself with work...It doesn't help...I still think of u when i'm alone...God help me...



What's the use of those memories if i can't have you?

It sux...

Friday, November 24, 2006
Working my arse off

WOOOT!!!

Finally get the chance to blog...
For the past three day's have been working my arse off...Esp yesterday...Worked from 5pm to 4.30am...Yea...As a matter of fact,I jus woke up...It's 4.30pm now...Wahahaha...
Today big ang mor boss come store inspect...So yesterday hav to make sure everything's in place...Hahas...Tiring...Now my whole body's in pain...
Poor edwin...Still have to work later...I'm on leave today!!!WOOOTS!!!!
Well,Looking forward to Sunday...BBQ!!!Hahas...Can relax...
Hehs...


Why was your love so shallow?Why couldn't u give and take?You just went away when u think you can't go on with me...You did not even gave me time to change...My love for you was unconditional...I would love you no matter what...But you,your love comes with a price tag...It comes with conditions...If i could't give you what you wanted...You won't love me...You are so shallow...And selfish...Maybe...It's for the best...

Thursday, November 23, 2006
Funny video =P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-awpyRR_JM&eurl=


Omg!!!U guys gotta see this!Damn funny!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006
First day at work

Wee!!!I'm so tired today...But it was fun,my first day at work...Hahas...
Let me start off this post with a brief intro of all the ppl i met at work today.Hahas

Peter ,a.k.a, The boss.

Intro:
This guy is da man around there...All stuff hav to tell him.He is very joval and funny.Has a wicked sense of humor.Hahas.From wad i see,i can tell he can be very serious if he wants to.Quite plump also....Hahas.

Dave ,The second in command.

Intro:
This guy is the head of my department.I assume tat he is the second "biggest" man around.In terms of rank.Hahas.He is the serious type of guy.But jokes around once in a while.I think he has a bigger sense of humor than peter,just tat he doesn't shows it.

Ken , The lame one.

Intro:
This is a lamer we are talking about here...He was the one who showed me how to get things done.He is damn lame...Actually fooling around in front of the boss,passing me some wrong items to put on the wrong shelves.I'm like GRRRRRR....Hahas.He knocked his head three times!LOL...And he got those sheepish eyes.Hahas.Reminds me of a mouse.Quite short too...Ok,let me rephrase tat,I don wanna be bad...He's jus height challaged.Hahas.

Ah kang , a.k.a Ah kang.

Intro:
Hmm...This guy...din really spoke to him.Both of us were busy stocking stuff.But this guy is quite friendly and helpful.Hahas.He looks quite...Mature?Hahas.I don really know how to describe his looks.Looks like he's in his thirties...But looks a little young too...Hahas.

Osman. a.k.a The cool guy

Intro:
When i first saw Osman,I'm like woah....This guy looks really cool...Like the terminator,minus the over developed muscles...LOL.He's Friendly enough.Hahas.Taught me how to arrange the stuff on shelves.

Lol...These are the people i met...I think there were others too...I forgot their names.Hahas...I set up the christmas tree!So next time u walk past the christmas tree outside the 768 woodlands mart Shop and save,TAT WAS MY CREATION!!!Muahahaha.Alot of stuff to do today...Everything was fun...Except for the rice part.I have to stack rice on the shelves.It was so tiring.They'll all so heavy!After tat,Dave told me i could go.Hahas.Edwin came around this time for his shift and i went off...Hahas.

Wel.Tats basically my day.Zzzzzzz...Gonna sleep...Tired...Still hav work tml...hahas...Tata

Monday, November 20, 2006
FREEDOM

I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 17, 2006
Last two papers to go

It's been really "sian" for me these few days...Thks to the O lvls,I have a few days break...But,i can't really enjoy the break...Y?cause there's a voice in my head telling me i still have two bloody papers left...God...How to enjoy?Haiz...Anyways,I'm so looking forward to TOTAL FREEDOM!!!It's coming in 3 days time...These three days is going to be a toture for me...Gosh...

Well this sunday i'm going church...Yes...It's been a longgggg time since i went back...I'm going with fasheng too!!!LOL...Tat came as a surprise...Hahas...But i'm going to enjoy my weekend...Before the two papers...

Oh ya...I'm going to get some dark jeans too...I need tat for my work...hahas...So troublesome...But no choice...Hahas...

Hmmm...Wonder how's she doing now...quite worried bout her...Haiz...It's been a long time since i last talk to her...don think she would want to tok too...since she got other alternatives to turn to when she's bored...So popular among guys...well...If she's happy,i'm happy...

alrights...gtg now...Gonna bath...bye ^_^

Don click on this

I'm feeling down again...Saw something tat reminds me of the past...Why do u still make me feel this way?I don wanna feel this way...I wanna throw those feelings away...Cause they hurt...

Thursday, November 16, 2006
Change

Hey ppl,
I just change my blogskin...How does it look?hahas...from dark and gloomy to bright...Hahas...I love it...Feel free to leave any comments^^

Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Careless me

I bled today...
Gosh...Hahas...I was taking the plate out of the drawer...Then i accidentally drop it...It drop on feet!!!Omg la...Then the edge of the plate was sharp...And yea...my big toe bled...gosh...
Then when i want to pick up the pieces of the shattered plate,i acidentally cut my hand!
I'm so careless...Haha...So now i got two bleeding wounds...hahas...Pain ar...
Well,not onli does those two wounds hurt...The wound on my heart haven stop bleeding yet...Ouch...Haiz...Maybe time will heal it...Guess i'll just have to wait...
Oh ya...To all F and N students,Good luck for ur coming paper...Hahas...Jia you...Just a couple of papers more and we'll be free!!!Yes,FREE!!!Ain't tat good?LOL

Monday, November 13, 2006
God damn u...

Yesterday was a bad day for me...Was so pissed...All because of him...Why do i hav to be his son?I tot fathers are there to set a good example and guide us?So why is mine forcing me to do the things i don wanna do?Why is he ordering me around like a dog?
All he does is for him to win...He doesn't gives a shit about ppl's feelings...Just as long as he gets his goal,he don't care bout other ppl...i mean,wad the fuk la...
Does he knows wad i've been thru?All he knows is to order me to go back...ORDER...Wad the hell...It's my freedom to go back anot...No one can force me to go back...
All the things he's doing now is making me feel so disappointed...If christians are all liddat,then wad's the point?
Not tat i'm against christ...But i've met far too much christians tat hurt me more than they help me...
I don really feel like going back.He'll beat me up if i don go back,he says...FUCK HIM!!!
If he does tat,i swear i'll run away from him and get away from his life...The moment i can support myself,i'll move out...I can't stand to live with such a person like him...Wad did he ever did for us?All he knows is to scold us...I am not giving in to him...I am not against his beliefs,I'm just against him...
I hate him...

Saturday, November 11, 2006
The keys to my heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Monday, November 06, 2006
My apologies

Right...Been thinking alot...sheesh...Jus realised how stupid i was...oh well...just wanna say sry if i hurted anyone...I can't change all of ur thinking anyway...Hate me if u want to...I don mind...i won't ask for u all to forgive me...But,if i'm bad,i'll admit it and not be fake and try to act to be a good boy...At least i'm true to myself...Sry again if i hurt anyone...

Well...maths was tricky...Dammit...S.S was alright...I got the question i want!YAY!On countries divided...Tat was kinda like luck's on my side...Cause i focused on Ireland...Yup...Lucky...

Well...I can't believe he did tat...To a fren some more..Feel so sry for keith...Why mus so many things happen now?We worked so hard...And distractions comes along...Sheesh...Life's unfair...

Well....all i gotta say is to work harder...We can't afford to fall now...Not after working for it so hard...Yups...If u'll reading this keith...I want u to know i'm here for you...Won't PS u...Haha...Call if u need to talk...

BB...

Sunday, November 05, 2006
Tears...

Tears are flowing as i write this...It's been a few days since she went away...
I'm alone at home right now...so...Lonely...There's no one to share my sorrow...
I just went thru some stuff in my drawer...As luck would have it,i came across the box while looking for S.S notes...Every single letter,every little things she made for me...was in there...
As i look thru everything...I could not help it...Tears just come naturally...y can't i just put those feelings away?
God,u r not fair...I gave everything i could...
But...I still lose the one thing tat i would die for...her...
U r jus not fair to me...
So God,y don't u jus take me home now?Everything would jus fade away if u do tat...
I would not feel any more sorrow...No more tears...
Yes...How great would tat be...take me home lord...

6,8,12

6,8,12
by Brian Mcknight

Ooh, ooh
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

[1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

[Repeat 1]

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

[Repeat 1]

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh

Women = Problems

LOL!!!Teck khang send me this...God damn funny...LOL

Forget it...

I can forget it...
As much as i want those feelings to come back...
I don't think they will...
Maybe i'll continue to linger in the memories of ur promises...
Those lies...
Well...Those lies still worth to be remembered...
At least...They still make me love you...

Friday, November 03, 2006
Sry!!!

Hey ppl...Back to blog...Haha...Was feeling down these few days...Yea...But...Kinda feeling better...Yup...

Today went to study...As usual...But i got up so freaking late!The time agreed on was 10.30am...But i woke up only at 11.30am!OMG la...Here i'll like to say sry to Edwin and the gang...SRY!!!And to Terence too...SRY SRY SRY!!!I slept at 4.00am yesterday la...PS...

After tat met my mom at causeway point...I got tat jacket i was eyeing for so long...haha.Thks mom...And my mom did something tat made me so proud of her.cause when i got my jacket,My sis got jealous and want one too.So my mom got for her one.My sis fren was there too.And my mom actually Got one for her too...I'm like woah!!!!not bad wad...Haha...MOM,I AM SO PROUD OF U!

Haiz...I dunno wad to do now...I want to wait for her...But...I'm afraid tat she'll think i'm annoying...And...She seemed to have forgot me completely...Seem like there's a new guy...I dunno if it's worth it...Everyone is telling me how stupid i am...I know it myself...U think i can help it?Pls...It takes time...If u ppl see me all depress and not toking to u,pls understand i need time to get over it...Pls understand...I jus need a longer time to pick myself up...

Pls come back...

You're on my mind day and night
When I think about the times we shared it seems so right
The times that i spent with you
I have to admit I do miss it all

Now that you are gone
I am so lost and I have no clue
I just don't understand
I don't know what to do

Words can't explain how I feel about you
Only god in heaven knows how I do
All my life I sacrificed for you
I just can help how much I love you

You made me feel oh so sweet
The way you used to kiss me
And how you used to hug me

So goodbye for now
But not for good
I hope you will comeback to me
I just wish you would

I'll wait even if it takes eternity
I love u

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
U're not worth the tears i've cried

As I stare at the skies, I think about you
And remember all that we went through
I see the stars, remember your smile
And feel all this pain inside, because of you
Baby, you're not worth
All these tears I've cried
And I can't forget you,
Even though I've tried
Not long ago, I was filled with joy
When i held you in my arms
I felt loved and safe there with you
Knowing I could not be harmed
I remember that time we had our first kiss
It was hard for me to believe
Every kiss was hidden in a perfect bliss
I never thought you would leave
I remember that night I kissed you good-bye
And those tears I could not hide
Now I'm at my window looking up at the sky
I confess to you and I will not lie
I love you
even though you made me cry
Can't forget you and I never will
I'll love you till the day I die

Sry...

Sry...
For those words...
For being stupid...
For insulting u...
Think u won't forgive me anyway...
All the best to you...
Good Bye to you,And take care...
You'll always be in my heart...

Bye.
Shattered Loves,
Ivan